Wait am I 16 or 31, I can't remember

Today I told my four year old niece that my birthday was yesterday and I turned 31 and her jaw dropped for almost a minute while she contemplated me being 'that old' and then she proceeded to count the ages I'll be next right up to 39 because after that i'll be one hundred, that was nice and made me feel very old indeed.

And then I was back at my parents house later and ended up having a ridiculous argument with my dad that left me feeling 15 again although I wasn't screaming I hate you and slamming doors and It got me thinking that no matter how much you grow up, all it takes is a few hours back in your childhood home to bring that feeling that you've finally grown up to halt.

So which am I? am I really really old and only several years from turning into dust (you have to love the honesty of small kids) or am I the disobedient child it sometimes feels like my parents view me as. maybe I'm neither or a little bit of both but it does make me glad that in reality I am an adult with my own life and that I'm visiting my parents and not in fact still living with them. My dad and I are too stubborn to reside in the same house and It's hard to for go your independence even on a temporary basis when you are so used to living your own life.

I know because when I moved back from Switzerland at 21, I moved back home. Partly because the family was so horrible that I moved home earlier than planned and spent all of my money on my stupid overweight bags and the flights home so I was coming home to no job or savings but also I had spent 10 months living in a place that never felt like my home and by then end of it I was craving my own room and the security of my parents. Somehow I ended staying until I started college at 24 and I won't lie, those three years were tough going at times. I was used to a certain level of independence and having to confine myself to the rules of my parents household wasn't always easy probably just as much for them as it was for me. I don't any parent dreams of having their adult child living with them well into their mid twenties.

So sometimes I need to remind myself I am a fully functioning adult and not the child my parents still see me as.

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