where's my motivation? oh that's right I ate it.

Okay so maybe I didn't eat my motivation. |The last four mornings in a row I've managed to do some pretty tough workouts, my sister set me, at 7am so clearly Im not turning into a couch potato. But I am finding I am constantly hungry now maybe some of it is cravings and not actual hunger. Does that actually matter if I'm unable to tell the difference, Surely it feels the same.

I'm Just finding it hard going, I think about food from the minute I wake up telling myself to just get through the workout and I can have breakfast soon. I started eating porridge for breakfast but was still hungry. I added some dried fruit and chopped nuts to it, still hungry. I am now having porridge with fruit and nuts plus a protein shake and two hard boiled eggs for breakfast and yet about an hour later I'm hungry again.
I've done the same with my coffee break snack, trying to make it more filling so I'm not fantasizing about lunch for a solid hour before it happens and nothing seems to be working which leads me to believe that maybe I'm the problem and not the food. But if that's the case then how do I fix me or do I just come to terms with the fact that I am destined to feel perpetually hungry and just try resist all the cravings using will power alone. Somehow I dont see that going well, I am not renowned for my willpower.

Since I cut out sugar and spelt (all wheat is bad wheat when you're intolerant), I've been feeling a lot better. I'm not eating take-away and I've only had alcohol once in the new year so really you'd think I'm doing quite well but I'm not sure. I worry I've replaced the really bad stuff with mostly good for me but kind of bad (in the way anything that's not a vegetable is kind of bad) for me foods like the coconut slices which I had to not make for a week or so as I couldn't resist the overwhelming urge to eat them much too fast. Or the protein bars which have a lot of almond butter and are a little too tasty and maybe just plain old almond butter which is disappearing from my cupboards much too fast. So it's like instead of going on a run I'm actually stuck on a treadmill, It feels the same but I don't actually go anywhere.

Every month I weigh myself to measure progress and according to the chemists weighing machine
I have put on about 3 kg in the last month. It also said I've shrunk 4 inches in height so it might not be the most reliable but I think it might be correct in that despite all the exercise and all the bad stuff I've thrown out Im not actually getting skinnier.My first thought was that I wanted to treat myself to something nice to cheer myself up and  I felt so very bummed out after this that when I was in Tesco's this evening I found myself purposely steering myself away from places like the Easter egg aisle as I was feeling like I was in the sort of humor whereby it wouldn't be too surprising if a stray Easter egg found its way into my trolley. I think it just feels like if you make a big sacrifice and constantly say no when everyone else is stuffing their faces then surely you should be rewarded accordingly or else why bother.