The last day of being 30

 (September 2010)
( June 2010, I'm the second from the right)
(February 2013)

(January 2013)
Tomorrow I turn 31, yep I'll officially be in my thirties. you might think that's not that different from being 30 but that's where you're wrong. Anyway as my birthday looms closer I find myself getting a little reflective on the last year and the last few years in general. I was feeling a little like I wasn't making much progress on this lent challenge were doing with the gym despite the fact that I'm working out all the time and eating so much better than I Used to so I went looking for old photos to compare with how i'm doing now. Now I knew I used to be a bit bigger before but I don't think I realized at the time quite how bad I looked. and it took a bit of work to find these gems as in a fit of pique after a messy break up I deleted most of my college era photos  and untagged myself from any my friends had but they were easy enough to find and even more horribly unflattering than I remembered. The top photo is me when I'd just moved to Edinburgh, at my heaviest, and not wearing the weight well as you can see. I was on the verge of moving up to a size 16 or wearing 34" waist. yea that's literally double the size I am now. eeek is the appropriate response. The photo below that is me on the last day of college in May 2010 and then the ones below that are me in the last few months and I look so completely different which kind of makes everything else worth it. Anyway that change has taken me two years so It's not like it happened overnight but a lot has changed in the last year and here's my lists of firsts at age 30.

1) First ever strict chin up http://youtu.be/T78xCiw_R6g  (here's a crossfit guy with a hilarious name demonstrating in case you don't know what a chin up is) all you really need to know is that its hard so it means I'm after getting stronger this year and that's cool.

2) My first time in years in a job I actually enjoy. I know I don't love it and its not forever but I do like working with kids and I love working with books so actually that's pretty sweet and something to be happy about.

3) I'm now fairly comfortable driving. When I turned 30 I'd only been driving a few weeks and I was pretty damn nervous about it ( and yes I know I was pretty late to start it but I was very committed to life as pedestrian, and I was living in a city where everywhere is walking distance plus my last attempt at driving had been abandoned after some fairly disastrous lessons with my dad some years previous )

4) On a less successful note I also sat (and failed) my first attempt at my driving test. I wasn't ready if I'm going to be honest about it and I was a complete and utter nervous wreck but I'm glad I've tried it. hopefully next time I'll actually pass it.

5) I'm trying new foods for the first time. I ate actual fish for the first time. And if you don't know me let me tell you that's huge, like a really big deal or if you ask my parents they'll tell you its a far bigger deal that I've eaten nutroast, the family specialty that Ive been refusing to even taste for as long as I can remember. but wait there's more. Im actually experimenting with food and finally only 30 years later trying new things. It's all very exciting.

6) I've given up new things like I've completely cut out junk food and Its been over a month since I last had sugar, maybe two since I last had milk chocolate. I don't think I've had a diet this healthy since when I was a toddler. The sugar withdrawal was scary but interesting and it's really gotten me to look at my whole relationship to food i.e. stop eating your feelings Laura!

7) I lifted a bar for the first time and discovered I am stronger than I ever thought I could be, who knows what the next year will bring.

8) I'm a size 8 now. Im finally skinny and I have muscles (but not in a manly way) so I actually have something to tone. Ironically I was one of those women starting crossfit saying I don't want to build muscle I just want to tone, never occurred to me that it might be helpful to actually get some muscle in order to have anything to tone. so I say ha to past me, I know better now.

9) I started a blog, possibly not a great blog but it's more than I was doing a year ago and so it's all a step in the right direction and who knows maybe if I keep writing I'll actually discover I have a voice worth listening to.

10) I'm living by myself for the first time ever and actually really liking it. who knew I was such great company. If  I'd suspected as much I'd have done it a lot sooner. But it's good, yes Im a bit poorer but when things need to get cleaned I clean them, no one else is at my stuff and when I come home from work I actually get to unwind instead of being forced to make awkward small talk with someone I hardly know.

It's all good, let's see what I can do by 32 :)




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