Change is possible ...
I am aware the title of this post is hardly a bombshell but I still manage to surprise myself. especially when I look back on my twenties and barely recognise myself.
What inspired today's post? You ask or
Maybe you're not asking that at all well tough because I plan on telling you regardless. I was on my coffee break today in work and once again one of the girls had made a cake and brought it into work( this happens at Least once a week) actually on this particular day there were cakes in the canteen and everyone was tucking into the yummiest one ( or at least the one that looked the most appealing ) all whilst I sit there eating some nuts and dried fruit. and you know what I was actually fine With that. I was quite enjoying my break time snack but also trying not to draw attention to myself. I think as a side note it speaks volumes about our society that its weird for someone to eat a healthy snack but perfectly ok to have a few slices of calf before noon. I was however thinking that they are all going to regret this in about an hour when their blood sugar drops and they are ravenous until lunch ( mwah ah ah- evil laugh).
Sorry I got sidetracked, the point I was making is not so long ago there was a time where I would not have been ok with that. A time when, if I passed on the cake I would have very much felt I was depriving myself and been miserable eating my 'snacks' or even cracked and had a slice of cake and lived to regret it ( as someone who's wheat intolerant that would not be very smart) and that's when it hit me, I've changed.
This is good, this changing business and believe me my family were blue in the face trying to Change my attitude to food but when it comes down to it you have to be the one to realise change is needed which its why its pointless to go all preachy. People will either change or they won't
and I feel it's important to accept that. I had No appreciation for people trying toro change me before I was ready and I don't mean just my diet.
You know that's not the only way I've changed, I spent a stupid amount of time with a guy who kept trying to change me in all the wrong ways and it's taken me a while to recognise change as a positive thing. I am a much better version of me, that being said the original me was pretty crappy so I had a whole lot of room
For improvement. I feel as though I've become more disciplined , well to an extent. I've recently discovered that I can stick to pretty much any plan ( like 10 day crossfit challenges or writing for 30 mins a day) provided I put a note on my phone with a list a boxes and check one every time I complete said challenge. So essentially I can be disciplined when I treat myself like a small child with a reward chart but hey it works so who am I to slag it off. Lets face it previously I was a champion giver upper, all sorts of plans and diets and lifestyle changes have been started with enthusiasm and then quickly and quietly abandoned but no more thanks to note-master :)
I think I am becoming slightly more self assured. This still very much a work in progress but I've a few years left in me yet so I guess there's no big rush. I am gradually learning to doubt myself less a d trust myself more and I think there's a few things that have brought that one but cross fit is certainly a big part of that but also and I'm aware to any regular folk out there this will sound a bit odd but I've cut a lot of junk out of my diet over the last few months and I feel as I learn to eat
Healthier I've become more attuned to my body in what it needs and so on but this in turn has left me more attuned to what's going on in my head.
I'm learning to let go more. I had an awful habit of carrying my past transgressions around with me like a spare tyre, actually come to think of the fact that I was holding on to this stuff so much is probably the reason I had a spare tyre got so long ( well that and chips, lets not forget the chips). And because I always had these issues with me I could easily unpack them in order to beat myself up for never being good enough. Now I'm not saying I'm there yet, I'm not fixed if that's even possible but there's progress and progress is good. It's all about living in the now and no amount of feeling guilty or angry about things I did or things other people made me feel is going to Change
It. The past is the past and piece by piece I'm letting go of it.
There's a quote I've used before but there's something about it that spoke to me so I'm going to use it again. You are what you do so If you change what you do you'll change what you are and that's what I'm doing or at least working on
What inspired today's post? You ask or
Maybe you're not asking that at all well tough because I plan on telling you regardless. I was on my coffee break today in work and once again one of the girls had made a cake and brought it into work( this happens at Least once a week) actually on this particular day there were cakes in the canteen and everyone was tucking into the yummiest one ( or at least the one that looked the most appealing ) all whilst I sit there eating some nuts and dried fruit. and you know what I was actually fine With that. I was quite enjoying my break time snack but also trying not to draw attention to myself. I think as a side note it speaks volumes about our society that its weird for someone to eat a healthy snack but perfectly ok to have a few slices of calf before noon. I was however thinking that they are all going to regret this in about an hour when their blood sugar drops and they are ravenous until lunch ( mwah ah ah- evil laugh).
Sorry I got sidetracked, the point I was making is not so long ago there was a time where I would not have been ok with that. A time when, if I passed on the cake I would have very much felt I was depriving myself and been miserable eating my 'snacks' or even cracked and had a slice of cake and lived to regret it ( as someone who's wheat intolerant that would not be very smart) and that's when it hit me, I've changed.
This is good, this changing business and believe me my family were blue in the face trying to Change my attitude to food but when it comes down to it you have to be the one to realise change is needed which its why its pointless to go all preachy. People will either change or they won't
and I feel it's important to accept that. I had No appreciation for people trying toro change me before I was ready and I don't mean just my diet.
You know that's not the only way I've changed, I spent a stupid amount of time with a guy who kept trying to change me in all the wrong ways and it's taken me a while to recognise change as a positive thing. I am a much better version of me, that being said the original me was pretty crappy so I had a whole lot of room
For improvement. I feel as though I've become more disciplined , well to an extent. I've recently discovered that I can stick to pretty much any plan ( like 10 day crossfit challenges or writing for 30 mins a day) provided I put a note on my phone with a list a boxes and check one every time I complete said challenge. So essentially I can be disciplined when I treat myself like a small child with a reward chart but hey it works so who am I to slag it off. Lets face it previously I was a champion giver upper, all sorts of plans and diets and lifestyle changes have been started with enthusiasm and then quickly and quietly abandoned but no more thanks to note-master :)
I think I am becoming slightly more self assured. This still very much a work in progress but I've a few years left in me yet so I guess there's no big rush. I am gradually learning to doubt myself less a d trust myself more and I think there's a few things that have brought that one but cross fit is certainly a big part of that but also and I'm aware to any regular folk out there this will sound a bit odd but I've cut a lot of junk out of my diet over the last few months and I feel as I learn to eat
Healthier I've become more attuned to my body in what it needs and so on but this in turn has left me more attuned to what's going on in my head.
I'm learning to let go more. I had an awful habit of carrying my past transgressions around with me like a spare tyre, actually come to think of the fact that I was holding on to this stuff so much is probably the reason I had a spare tyre got so long ( well that and chips, lets not forget the chips). And because I always had these issues with me I could easily unpack them in order to beat myself up for never being good enough. Now I'm not saying I'm there yet, I'm not fixed if that's even possible but there's progress and progress is good. It's all about living in the now and no amount of feeling guilty or angry about things I did or things other people made me feel is going to Change
It. The past is the past and piece by piece I'm letting go of it.
There's a quote I've used before but there's something about it that spoke to me so I'm going to use it again. You are what you do so If you change what you do you'll change what you are and that's what I'm doing or at least working on
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