I can't .....I'm too afraid


How many times have I let fear hold me back ? well this is not an exact count but too many times. Fear of failure, fear of change, fear of the unknown. All of these leave you paralyzed and you become stuck and comfortable where you are, why change when change is so scary.

 I'm done letting fear control me and Cross-fit is helping me change that. Cross-fit has no place for fear, you leave that by the door with your jacket and car keys. It's all about finding your limits and pushing past them. Every time I work out I find myself doing something I previously thought I couldn't. That box is too high or this weight is too heavy cease to matter because eventually you find yourself jumping on the box and lifting the weight and laughing at the voice in your head that said you couldn't.

 Now I'm not saying conquering fear means you'll never fail because trust me you will but it's about not letting that failure defeat you, not letting that failure stop you from picking yourself up off the ground and trying again. Even with an ache in your muscles and a voice in your head telling you can't. There are still things I 'can't' do, far too many to list here but someday that list will be shorter as more and more these things become things I've done.
Yes, I'll be out of my comfort zone but the truth is my comfort zone kind of sucks. My comfort zone was eating biscuits in front of tv lamenting the fact that I couldn't fit into smaller jeans.

Conquering fear is not an overnight process, I've still got plenty in my life, in my head. That awful inner monologue that tells me I'm not good enough, I'm not strong enough, I'm doing this wrong, I'm going to fail and I'm slowly learning to drown that voice out with the sound of my heart beating as I start to do all the things it told me I couldn't. Now I don't know will I ever grow out of the fear, sure I'll grow stronger, better faster but will that voice holding me back ever fully go away. Perhaps not, all that matters is that I know that voice is wrong.
Even I can't do this today I can try again tomorrow and the day after that until I can do it
every damn day until that voice inside to learns to pipe down a little, It has no place here.

 It's all about feeling the fear but your coaches voice being louder so that every time you hear it telling you in your head that you can't do anymore there's someone actually shouting at you to do one more rep and to not put the weight down. You do it and feel great and that fear 
becomes a background noise. 

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