The lies we tell online

When I was fifteen or so we got a computer and I used to go online and talk to people in chat rooms. Back then there wasn't really social networking so I mostly talked to strangers and my mother constantly warned me they weren't really teenage boys I was flirting with but dirty old men sitting at home touching themselves. Growing up I retained a little of cynicism but back then I believed the best in people and honestly in a chat room you had no way of knowing how many lies were being told.

These days the internet is a far more complicated network for swapping information and everybody lies a little online. You might be shaking your head, adamant that you don't but there are few exceptions to this rule so chances are, you're not one of them.

On Facebook or other social networking sites of choice (surely everyone uses Facebook as their main base ? I can't see Google + catching on) people are selective in what they post, what messages they send to friends and photos they agree to be tagged in. These are lies of omission that we use to make ourselves seem happier or more attractive than we are. Everyone worries about how they are perceived ( some people could do with worrying about this a little more, but lets not get sidetracked) and censor themselves accordingly so as to to portray their lives a certain way. With the exception of people that clog up your news feed with outpourings of drama or the suggestions of ( you know the type that just put sad faces or some smart comment about men being dickheads or how their life is just awful and then sit back and wait for the comments and concern), most people will only update Facebook when they have good news to share. The Ironic thing is so many of us are sitting at home trawling through the facebook pages of others feeling envious about this person's job going so well or that person's sexy boyfriend or another friend who's in really great shape and we don't think about the fact that even some whose job sounds awesome is probably not living the great life you would think, and the gorgeous boyfriend might just be an asshole and that really fit girl has probably untagged herself from at least twenty photos that make her look less fit. It is all filtered down to the best version of ourselves and maybe you didn't think it but it is lying online.

From a brief encounter with an online dating site a few years ago and also just because I know stuff. I know that dating sites are the worst places of all. People tell all sorts of lies to make themselves seem appealing, they hide all their crazy until you can't see it anymore. It all comes down to sales really because that's what a dating site is , you selling yourself as someone else's ideal partner and if you can't commit to that notion you're unlikely to do well. I don't know if this is an Irish thing or a confidence thing but I've always been distinctly uncomfortable with talking myself up. Quite frankly I excel at self depreciation and sarcasm, neither of which proved to be useful skills in the murky world of online dating. I think in the end it was wading through the thick fog of deception that wore me out , that and the overall vibe of desperation many men were putting out on there. The internet generally seems to be the last stop in the search for someone and among the perverts and weirdos there were some genuine guys, I think. I can't say I ever met any of them. My sole date from this experience was with a Mixed martial arts fighter who had a bit of a complex about people thinking he was thick (because of the job) and so over compensated by using big words frequently out of context. Funnily enough this did little to enhance his overall intelligence, needless to say that didn't work out.

The Internet is filled with lies, some bigger than others but maybe not every guy online is a dirty old man, just some of them. Thanks for the words of warning Mum.